"Quotes One" - Heavy Cotton Tee

BENEFACTOR • ZIP ZAPS • SWOLE JOOCE • TESTSERRACTOR

Just cause you're natty doesn't mean you need to be small.

This stack is carefully designed to boost muscle recovery, amplify gains, and keep you performing at your peak, consistently, rep after rep, set after set, workout after workout.


Dive Deeper ↓

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Benefactor

Enhances muscular energy & endurance.

+ INTER-SET RECOVERY*

+ ATHLETIC ENDURANCE*

+ ATP PRODUCTION*

Overview
Details
Overview

Eat shrooms, get more reps, more sets, and more gains.

Instead, the tables are turned; you're the parasite, the sole benefactor in this exchange. Enhanced ATP production & oxygen delivery means your muscles don't give up as easily and have extra "oomf" when you need them most. If it can bring the dead back to life, imagine what it can do for your weak pumps. (This stuff is grown on grains, not brains.)

TAKE THIS  If

You're having "weak" days where you can't lift for quite as long, and can't figure out why.

SO THAt YOU

Crush workouts with muscles that have more "go" left in them.

We'll admit, cordyceps is some weird stuff. A parasitic fungi in nature and zombie shows, in humans it has zero zombifying abilities—great for taxpayers but terrible for your badass zombie-slaying dreams.

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Details
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Take 2

Anytime

Everyday

PRIMARY ACTIVE INGREDIENTS

hOW tO tAKE

Cordyceps Fungi HyperExtract

ZIP ZAPS

Immediate energy anywhere without the sugar and the crash.

+ PHYSICAL PERFORMANCE*

+ FOCUS AND ALERTNESS*

+ METABOLIC ACTIVATION*

Overview
Details
Overview

Holy sh*t I'm ready to go.


Energy Drink? Pre-workout? Nope, we've found a way less enjoyable yet way more efficient (and less diabetes inducing) way to zap your brain & body into action. Let it melt on your tongue and let the precise mixture of stimulants and relaxants hit for a "Holy sh*t I'm ready to go, but my soul isn't shaking" feeling. 

You're having "weak" days where you can't life for quite as long, and can't figure out why.
TAKE THIS IF

Smooth energy, quickly, whenever you're feeling weak and sleepy, whether its in the gym, the trail, or the office. Contains green tea caffeine, B vitamin complex, and L-theanine. Comes in a snazzy tin (we pay extra for this, but you don't. Enjoy)

SO THAT YOU
Crush workouts with muscles that have more "go" left in them.
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Details
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PRIMARY ACTIVE INGREDIENTS

hOW tO tAKE

Green tea Caffeine, L-theanine

Take 1-2

Anytime

Everyday

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SWOLE JOOCE

Repair muscles faster to train more often and see results quicker.

+ LEAN MUSCLE*

+ PREVENTS MUSCLE BREAKDOWN*

+ IMPROVED ENDURANCE*

Overview
Details
Overview

Run out of non-sore muscles to train? Un-sore them faster.

Put into human words: "Muscle repair fast. Muscle repair strong. Big man lift heavy circles sooner. Big man get bigger."


Also, your body doesn't make this stuff so either you crush 12 eggs a day or you buy our magic dust.

TAKE THIS if

Your gym crush says you look small & weak, but you're still too sore to lift more.

SO THAT you

Train more with less downtime, cause if you can't have your crush, at least you can have glorious muscles.

Get back to lifting heavy circles sooner with this delicious cocktail of honeydew flavoured branch chained amino acids (mmm so appetizing). The ideal ratio of 2 parts leucine to 1 part isoleucine and valine increases protein synthesis and nitrogen retention — blah blah blah. 

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Details
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1/2 Scoop

Per Cup of Liquid

Pre/Post Workout

PRIMARY ACTIVE INGREDIENTS

hOW tO tAKE

Branched Chain Amino Acids (BCAAs)

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TESTSERRACTOR

Hormonal supplementation for strength, immunity and that big d*ck energy.

+ INCREASED MUSCLE MASS*

+ MOOD STABILITY*

+ BONE DENSITY*

Overview
Details
Overview

No it wont grow your d*ck by 3 inches, but it will give you the same kinda energy. The benefits in increased testosterone in men aren't exactly a secret, its vital in getting the gains you want, the stamina to train for those gains, and the motivation to go to the gym in the first place (may also help with the will to live).

Testserractor is like manliness in a pill, think firefighters, lumberjacks, Dwayne The Rock Johnson, and crippling expectations from society. Stop barking and start woofin' you big dawg. (helps in weight rooms, but also other rooms)

TAKE THIS IF

Your weak mind is giving you weak gains, and a weak will to live.

SO THAT you

Have the motivation to train harder, grunt a little louder, and become the man that little you would've looked up to.

Lets get hormonal.

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Details
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Take 3

Before bed

Everyday

PRIMARY ACTIVE INGREDIENTS

Branched Chain Amino Acids (BCAAs)

hOW tO tAKE

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the breakdown

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But... Why Stacks?

Because a band-aid is a shitty solution 

to a bullet wound.

When even your solutions have problems, solving only the surface issue doesn’t get you very far.


That's why each stack is designed to support you from multiple angles.


Lifting harder now? You'll need enhanced muscle repair. More demanding adventures? Energy to keep up. More work done? Better stress management.


That's why we've collectively tracked 393 hours so far formulating and pairing various substances to tackle actual real-life human challenges.


Cause someone's gotta do it.

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FAQ

How do I choose the right stack for me?

Don’t worry, we understand, its always tough going through an identity crisis. Here’s what I recommend. Go through each stack page. Yes, take your time. Decide which Functype you would like to become in the coming 6-12 months. And commit. That’s it. You have to get started, but once you do you will almost always end up clarifying what your goals are, when that happens, simply just swap stacks. It’s that easy.

Or, if you have your shit together and know what your goals are, then ask yourself: Are you aiming to build muscle, lose fat, boost endurance, enhance cognitive function, or improve overall health? Match your goals to our tailored stacks like Swole Seeker for muscle growth, Aesthetic Architect for a chiseled physique, Movement Maestro for functional fitness, or Productivity Olympian for mental and physical stamina.

Check the ingredients for quality and transparency, and consult with a healthcare professional if needed. Start your journey with a tailored made stack for your goal, monitor the results, and adjust as needed.

Are there any side effects?

No, you have to pay extra for those. All GetFunct substances are formulated to do one specific job, and do it to perfection, nothing else. We only source high-quality ingredients that we would personally give our mothers, and therefore are generally safe for use. However, it's always best to consult with a healthcare professional before starting any new supplement regimen, especially if you have pre-existing health conditions or are taking other medications.


Please, for the love of all things holy, read the label, or message us. ESPECIALLY if you have allergies!

Can I combine stacks?

Definitely, you can combine stacks to target multiple goals simultaneously. Just ensure that you are not exceeding recommended dosages of any individual supplement. Some people also switch between stacks, aesthetic architect can help you cut, while Swole Seeker helps you bulk. Or you can be the genius swole boy and mix in productivity olympian.


It’s a win-win, you become a weird genetically-perfect super human thing, and we become rich.

How soon can I expect results?

Results vary depending on individual factors such as diet, exercise routine, and overall health. It also depends on which substance you’re expecting results from, stimulants like Zip Zaps are noticable right away, whereas something like Failsafe you’ll only notice once all your friends have gone crazy, and you’re the last sane one left.

Generally, the more deficient and f*cked up your health already is, the more you’ll notice the help from our substances (cause there’s more to fix). Most users start to notice benefits within a few days to a couple of weeks of consistent use.

Do I need to cycle off these supplements?

It depends on the supplement. For example, it's a good idea to cycle off certain stimulants to maintain their efficacy. Check the specific guidelines for each product within your stack.

THE SWOLE SEEKER
BENEFACTOR • ZIP ZAPS • SWOLE JOOCE • TESTSERRACTOR
$45.90 USD Save %
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